I KNOW what you're thinking.... ("I hate that bitch. She doesn't update her interesting and so suspenseful blog any more. WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?!?!?!")
Yeah. Well. Shut up.
SEE, a while ago, my parents took my computer away, so that gave me really no chance to update this dang thing anyway. And THEN, for a couple weeks, I was too emotionally distressed to even do anything but stare out my window for countless hours when I was supposed to do homework. I actually have a pretty nice view.
(BAdum PSH)
(All right, all right. If MY attempts to be funny are no longer effective for you young people, then FINE.)
So here's what happened: Justin and I broke up, he got to know Julia, Julia liked him, I missed him, we got back together, I went to Italy, he liked Julia, we break up again, and now he's still going out with Julia. And I'm still in Rome.
Justin is happier, Julia is happier, everyone else is happier and they don't hate me any more. Which is a plus. I guess.
I don't think anyone reads this thing any more because I stopped updating like ten hundred bajillion years ago... So hmmmm.... can I... er.... confess...?
Actually, I'd rather not.
Well, it goes like this:
The only reason why I broke it off was because I was just bored with my routine life, and I'm not sure what else made me do it, but it was all kind of a blur. Anyway, after about an hour, I began to miss him. Let's see... I broke it off on.... November........ like... 18th or something like that. It was about 2 weeks ago, I think. And you know what? I've been crying myself to sleep every night ever since. At first I was worried about him, because I still wasn't convinced that anyone could feel so strongly about another person as he felt about me, and I was convinced that it was all in his head and that he doesn't love me as much as he said he does. As time went on, I realized that I needed him there every day, because nothing is the same without him next to me. I mean, for six months, he was like my best friend (I love you, Emily) and then suddenly, hes just not there any more. He said that he couldn't stand being around me for very long without "displaying his love for me" and that it would take a while for him to get over it so we can be friends again. But I couldn't wait. I really missed being friends with him. After a few days, I really missed being his girlfriend. And by this time, my mind has played so many tricks on me, one minute thinking that I don't need him, the other thinking that I miss him and I love him, and each time I changed my mind, I would tell someone, and then they would tell him. So I guess my mind was playing tricks on him, also. I wanted him back. But I felt like such a bastard, breaking up with someone because I just didn't love them as much as I used to and then wanting to get back together with them as soon as I realized how lonely and small I really am without them. So I waited. And during that waiting time, I found out that Julia likes him, because they started talking a lot after we broke up. Now I COULDN'T get back together with him. I knew I shouldn't. But, being the stupid idiotic bastard that I am, I did any way. I guess I just didn't realize what I was doing at the time... But I was sending mixed signals all over the place to EVERYONE. After I asked Julia if it was okay with her if he and I got back together, I immediately regretted it. My joy of having him back again was overruled by the guilt. I went to school the next day, only to find out that every time I go somewhere, I had just been the conversation topic. My friends hated me that day. I couldn't take it. So, in order to get rid of this heaviness in my heart, I asked Justin if he liked Julia. The least bit. And he asked me if I actually WANTED him to date other people, because that was the impression that I was giving off. Well. Now, I'm not even sure what I wanted. But I told him that I wanted to see that if he went out with other people and had more experiences to compare me with, if he would miss me. The next day, he told me that he liked Julia. He liked us both and couldn't decide who he wanted. He said he loved me, but he also wanted Julia. He said he would think about it. The day after that, I was leaving for Italy, and he went to school. When he was gone, I talked to him (well... his computer...) and told him that I would gladly step back and not get in the way of what he and Julia could have together. And I would do it, too, as it was what I had promised Julia that I would do. So I went off to Italy, miserable, crying, hating the suspense. When I got a hold of a computer here, I found out that my friends have been egging him to ask her out. At this point, I just threw my hands up and said 'screw it all' and told him that he should go ahead and ask her out. It would save me the worrying and suffering, even though... I'm still suffering. But I'm not DONE. On the plane, and on my cheap and hard hotel bed, I played over the scenes of the time when we first started dating and I began to fall in love all over again, with the person that is now out of my reach. We were both so crazy about each other back then. I don't know about him, but I thought he was the best thing ever. But something changed. I don't know what. I guess eventually we just ran out of things to talk about. And then, instead of acknowledging his presence like I had done before, I began to repell. My friends constantly told me that we were spending too much time together, and that they hardly ever get a chance to hang out with me, and me only any more. He was always there. But that was what made us so close.... So because of what my friends said, I began to take what they want into consideration, and started doing things without him, and eventually, I kind of forgot that he was there. I just took advantage of his presence, and I know... it's horrible.... I regret it, but I still don't know what I should have done instead. I think that no matter what I did back then, I still would have lost. But I had wanted to break up with him because there was no excitement in it any more, right? Well. I guess I got the 'excitement' I was aiming for. I still feel horrible for everything I did and everyone I hurt, and I'm really, really, really sorry, you guys. If I didn't have you, ANY of you, I probably wouldn't survive. I'm sorry, Emily, for ignoring you for the past few months and forgetting about your dillemnas and being so wrapped up in my own world. You have always been my best friend, and you will always be my bestest. It seems that all of the decisions I make nowadays always lead to a bad consequence..... and I'm glad that you aren't giving me the punishment I deserve, and being there for me every step of the way. I love ya, man.
I hope all that I'm saying doesn't make you hate my parents. I mean, they're awesome people. And....... I'm kind of the unobedient kid that every parent could do without. So they're trying their best. And sometimes they piss me off because my mother doesn't remember what it's like to be my age, and always goes on about how she was the most innocent and perfect child and everyone loved her. So all I have is my father, who wouldn't understand being a girl.
So you know. I'm kind of alone.
Anyway. I'm sure you could care less about crap like this... but I had to get it out of my system.
I'm not supposed to be on the computer right now. So I suppose I better dash.
SO..... According to my parents, I'm basically a good-for-nothing dumbass who has not and will not do anything to make them proud. That's right, folks. Ya heard it here first.
I'm not even sure what I did, but my house has an alarm system, you know? And I'm supposed to turn the alarm on every morning when I leave for school. Well. I guess I stayed in the house too long after I set the alarm so after I left, the police called my parents and my mother had to go home. See, I didn't even know that could happen. But they GOTTA blame SOME BODY, right?
And last night, we all had a big arguement about how I never do anything they tell me to, and I suppose the whole "alarm" thing was the last straw. Cause. You know. Nyssa meant to ruin everything on purpose.
It kind of all started when I forgot to say "hi" to father when he walks in the door. I don't see how it's such a big deal, but to mother, it is. She "doesn't see how ANYBODY couldn't notice someone coming in the door", but she still doesn't know by now that I'm not a very focused person and I could just sit there and block out everything around me. Which is what I've been doing all of my life.
Tonight, we're going to have a "talk", and they're going to limit my chatting to only on weekends and I can't be on the phone and so basically, all they want me to do is do the dishes, the laundry, my homework, clean the house, and practice piano.
But it won't last.
Anyway. It's funny, cause Emily and Tessa are the only ones who have really seen the unreasonable and tempermental side of my parents. Everyone else thinks they're nice and funny and overall weird.
And... I'm not even supposed to be talking trash about my parents to the world because it's "not respectful".
Well. I kind of gave up on being respectful after constantly hearing about how I never do anything to make my parents happy.
As you can see from my 80 gazillion minutes of complaining, I'm PISSED. And to top it all off, I snapped my fingers with a mousetrap.
Today, at dinner, mother pulled out a map of the world, and was like, "They gave us a map at the meeting today. I wonder how far away Italy is from Portland. Hmmmm.... Where's Portland?" And started looking in Europe.
A few minutes later, after snorting and chuckling, I said, "Mother, that's not the United States."
"OH!" She said and began searching in Asia.
Yeah...............
It makes me wonder how she got through travel school.
... I remember those days.... I did her homework a lot.... And I was like, 9.
Oh, I had a fun childhood. Which technically WASN'T a childhood, since it was full of beer, sex, and horror movies. But that's beside the point.
So, yeah... I just decided to share that little bit of information. Since I'm obsessed with my parents and all.
Even if the sun is shining, it's still dark, and it makes weird sounds now and then that make me jump for the scissors. Cause. You know. You can do a lot of damage with THOSE things.
No, really. You could.
So yeah....
This morning I woke up with an incredibly itchy eye. So, naturally, I itched it, but after a while it got red. And puffy.
...Which is the reason for my absence from school and why I'm writing in this thing so early in the day.
I fell asleep for fourty five minutes, and now I'm kind of wired. Even though... my eyelid has grown a head.
Okay, well, I'm going to go do something useful with my time.
I realize that I have very many readers (2)... aaand... I wouldn't mind ifyou guys poop out a comment now and then... just to show me you will be there when I need a new brain and the left side of my body replaced.
Hulio invented her own language, which is basically adding "Bitch" to the end of every sentence. And Lindso IS a bitch. :evil:
It's really fun to pretend to have a grudge against someone as blonde as Lindso. Cause. Ya can't stay mad at those ones for very long. EVEN when they do something like [DITCH ME TO HANG OUT WITH VICTOR, WHO SHE SUPPOSEDLY DOES NOT LIKE].
But. I forgive you, Lindso.
8)
.......... But I still hate you!
Dah dah dah dah- DAH- DAAAH!!!!
::tap dances across the stage wearing tux, top hat and cane in hand::
Well. I was reading over my previous entry and realized that it was my SECOND time seeing "The Incredibles", not my third. I gasped and immediately had to note the public of my horrendous mistake.
After seeing "The Incredibles" for the third time with Hulio, Nack, and Joinkers, we all went back to my house to wait for their parents to come and drag them home. Joinkers left first, and Nack left after, like, 15 minutes and THEN it was just ME and HULIO.
It's good, though, 'cause we needed some "alone time" anyway. We played an erotic (not) game of "SORRY!" while listening to my mother gloat about how she likes Ben Affleck because he's hot and watching "Jersey Girl". It's funny how my parents have a strong enough relationship to be okay with the other telling everyone of how they think all these people are hot.
Yeah. Anyway, after a while, Hulio left. And after THAT, at about 9, I was off to Lindso's, where Gawk and Lindso herself were to be awaiting my arrival.
I stepped out of the car and stood in front of the window that looks into their kitchen table, where the duo was drinking and eating and having a jolly time. After a few seconds, Lindso looked at me and jumped up to open the door. GAWK, on the other hand, looked around, apparently very confused. When she looked out the window and saw me peering in with a serious look, Gawk shrieked and jerked out of her chair.
I... have that kind of effect on people... :shock:
The rest of the night was a similar atmosphere. We spent about two hours playing dress-up, forcing Gawk to wear a skirt that went higher than her knees and watching as Lindso touched herself in front of her mirror. While Lindso was flaunting herself in front of us, I attempted to kick her, injuring my big toe in the process. According to Father, the chiro, my pain and injury isn't going to go away for another year.
I thought he was kidding.
But.... he.... wasn't....... :?
After playing dress-up, we gathered all of the Zehner make-up and I proceeded to make Lindso and Gawk look like prostitutes. I did Lindso first. And while I was coloring Gawk's face with eyeliner, Lindso was literally attacking her with blush. ("Lindso, does this look okay?" "No, she needs more blush." "Okay... how about now?" "MORE BLUSH!") In the end, Gawk's face looked exceptionally purty. But... there was just one flaw.....
"I think I put too much blush on you, Gawk."
Oh, I love Lindsey.
It's funny. 'Cause when Gail and Lindso attempted to make me look like a whore, it looked the same as when I do the make-up myself. I wonder what THAT says about my morals.
After the Prostitute make-overs, we sat down on the couch and watched Mean Girls, as Lindso periodically got pulled out of the room to be lectured by her mother for using her make-up and leaving a trail of crap where ever she goes.
We fell asleep at like 2:30 AM and woke up at 10:45. It took an hour to get us out of bed, though.
Later on, Gawk, Lindso and Lauren (Yes, they're TWINS) and I went to the mall. I can't really remember what we did there, but I DO remember spending like 45 minutes in Victoria Secret, spraying ourselves with strong smelling perfumes, being pampered by Victoria Secret employees, and taking advantage of the testers.
I smell like Victoria Secret now.
It smells good. I gotta get me soma that BLUSH.
Well... no... it's not technically BLUSH. It's shimmer. :roll:
Anyway. I can't believe it's not Christmas yet. Cause it sure as hell feels like it, with the Christmas tree up and the Christmas Sales at the mall.
I've made the living room couch my new hang-out, because from HERE, I can stare at the tree and my father's hilarious Santa Claus Christmas ornaments.
Why the hell are there pears on the tree...?
I think this has been my longest post yet.
Gosh, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. :cry:
Cedar Crap is such a screwed up school. It's.. funny...
The tree is up. Yes, yes, I realize that it is only November, but you can never be too prepared. Eh? EH? But... it's soo booooooooootiful.
Not really, actually. But with father's Santa ornament collection, it sure adds some spice to the ever so dull fake version of a slightly realistic edition of a typical Christmas tree. BASICALLY. It... just... doesn't look real. Especially with the metal supports sticking out of the bottom. Go figure.
Anyway. I think the Patches house was only meant to be seen in the wintertime. Cause the rest of the year it just looks like crap.
But it's so purty now!
So gosh dang bootin'ful.
It was funny watching father tamper with the Christmas lights, because he would get one section of the tree to light up, and then another section would turn off. Eventually he ordered mother and I to rip all of the lights off of the fake branches and drove to Freddy's to buy new ones. When he got back I watched him and mother try to put the lights on the tree.
Yeah....
It took our family about 5 hours to put up our Christmas Tree.
